Ask Lucie - Set #5

** SET 7. **

*** Last updated - July 19, 2000 ***

Q. Lucie: Reading the questions and answers on this page is fascinating. I recall reading years ago that Lucy and Vivian Vance had a rocky relationship (I think the book was written by a fan club president?). In her later years, your mother always spoke fondly about her castmates. What was your mother's, and father's relationship throughout the years with Vivian Vance and William Frawley? What was your relationship with Vance & Frawley? Keven.

LUCIE: I adored Vivian Vance. She was my Auntie Mame. It's probably because of Viv that I have the career I have in the theatre, because she inspired me to return to my stage roots while deep into soaking up my success on the #1 television show of the late 60s -- Here's Lucy. And she was a great friend. My mother and Dad always loved her and gave her whatever she needed -- even time to herself when she needed to leave the business after The Lucy Show ended.

Bill Frawley was much older than Vivian and loves his boxing and baseball and therefore didn't socialize with us all that much. But, the respect my parents had for him was immense. Bill and Viv got along as well as they needed to for the show -- and that's all you can ask of them. Clearly it was chemistry made in Heaven.

Q. Dear Lucie, With all the hype of New Years and the turning of the 1900s a few months ago, I was just wondering if you did anything particular to celebrate on that big night? My family and I took it easy, went out with a few friends, nothing elaborate. I've heard so many different stories of people's New Years experiences, and I would love to hear yours!
Thanks for your time. I think you are one of the most gifted people on this earth! -- Elizabeth

LUCIE: On the eve of the new millennium I invited four of our closest friends to drive up and spend the night with us in the country. We dressed to the nines and we served a champagne and caviar buffet fit for kings. We reminisced and cried and watched the dumb ball drop and couldn't have been happier. Family from all over checked in by phone and I counted my blessings. Glad to know you had a similar idea. Happy New year, Elizabeth.

Q. Dear Lucie, I was wondering, in real life, do you have your own "Ethel Mertz"? Keep up your amazing work!! Steve.

LUCIE: First of all, what makes you think in real life that I am Lucy? Maybe I'm Ethel Mertz! Maybe I'm Fred Mertz?! Maybe I'm the Flying Nun! If you mean do I have a great friend to get in and out of difficult situations with (as I'm sure you did) then the answer is yes. Several of them actually. I guess the one that come to mind first is my pal Judy. We've been getting in trouble together now for 26 years!

Q. Lucie, I was just curious what you liked to do in your freetime, favorite actors/actresses, favorite food, favorite color, stuff like that. Zoie.

LUCIE: FREE TIME????????? You sound like a lovely person. I remember having lots of favourites when I was younger. I still have lots but they have changed and they usually fall into categories: Actors -- who I believe. Foods -- that don't make me sick or fat. Colours -- that don't wash out my skin tone. Hope you have favourites too -- enjoy!

Q. Lucie , you were on Howard Stern's radio show to promote the scrap books that you made , what questions did he ask you? , & what did he do? Talia Baca.

LUCIE: Oh dear, Talia, I can't remember what questions Howard asked. It was several years ago now. I remember that he was much much nicer and more adult with his remarks than I thought he would be. I remember him telling me I looked
"hot," and I remember being nervous, and when it was over feeling like I'd won a bullfight! I actually love Howard -- when he behaves!

Q. Hi Lucie, I first off want to take my hat off to you and say thank you for everything!!!! Reading about your mother and looking at her facinating work,I've known that she was very head strong and wanted work all of the time and she worked worked worked and put her all and all in it. Which is said a characteristic as a Leo. Its said, Lucy worked all the way 'till she was ill and she then had to face the most difficult thought..."Im getting older" And her body would no let her do the things she wanted anymore. My grandmother is a leo as well and has been in tops with the community and all. Shes been active ever since the 60's and she has hundreads of awards and stuff, but recently she had a stroke and wants to do these things but can't and looks apon her self as somewhat a failure...I don't know many like her as a leo who had it all and now cant do it other than Lucy. My question to you is how did you help assist your mother in her time of illness. And how can I do somewhat (or) the same? Thankyou, Mmadluv.

LUCIE: Your grandmother sounds like my grandmother, DeDe. It's always hard when the body fails before the mind. But that is also the key. Help your grandma see what she has to give you mentally. Her stories, her experience, her support.
She can still help organize for clubs and families.

My mother was not ill -- except for the last week of her life when she was in the hospital. So, I wasn't needed to "assist" her. She was working up until she had the heart rupture. Yes, she may have "felt" as if she wasn't going to get the same opportunities because of her age, but that's just a reality, not a tragedy. She just had to come to terms with the changes. As we all do.

Q. Lucie, If this is too personal of a question, please don't answer. It is very apparent you take your role as a mother very seriously. Did having two super famous parents in show business help prepare you not to make some of the same mistakes they may have made balancing parenthood with a career in entertainment? (not that they were any different than anybody else..all parents make some mistakes). Also, from your experiences as a step-daughter and a step-mother, is there any trick to blending two families? When your kids were young were they able to understand they had a Grandpa Desi AND a Grandpa Gary? Thank you, Seeker36.

LUCIE: It's not too personal a question, but it may be too personal an answer, only because what I have done to be different was only what seemed right for me and my husband. Briefly, I thought I was doing things differently with my children (being home more, cooking, taking them to doctor appointments, going to schools, driving them to activities, etc.). But I still had too much live in "help" who took the place of real parenting, and it was a big mistake. About 12 years ago, we changed out lives drastically to try to right the wrongs (and they were wrongs, as the problems our kids were experiencing proved) -- we are now truly there for our kids, as much as is humanly possible, and we put their needs before our professional needs. For us it
can be done no other way.

And blending 2 families was very difficult in the beginning as I had no children of my own yet, and my expectations of what children would be like was highly unrealistic. I took things personally and was wallowing in resentment for a few years.

My children always knew they had a slew of loving grandparents. Nana (my mother), Grandpa Desi, Grandpa Gary, Grandma Edie. Larry's father, Laurence died when my oldest was born, but his mother, visited us quite often and the kids remember her as Grandma Agnes. Unfortunately, they are all gone now, and it must be very hard for my children to have no grandparents. However, we have adopted Ms. June Havoc and she has enriched our lives with her wit and wisdom and unconditional love. I pray to be as invaluable a friend and source of inspiration when I am her age.

Q. Lucie, Your father is a great inspiration to me, I wanted to know is what was your fondest memory of him?? I think you were brilliant in Abduction of Innocence. I watched that movie several times. I also think you were brilliant in Here's Lucy. I was so mad when they took it off of PAX tv. Good Luck in your up coming movie and you sounded just wonderful on your CD. Keep up the good work, Alicia Cardoza.

LUCIE: My father was an inspiration to me, too. His zest for life, his love of nature, his fearlessness, his curiosity, his perseverance, his talent as a musician -- he was a gift. I have dozens of favourite memories of him. Watching him pound the conga drum, his hair flying and sweat pouring, loosening his bow tie and putting everything he had into a performance is
one. Wearing his torn, red-checked "lucky" fishing shirt and cooking a gourmet fish fry lunch on the beach is Baja, just after catching it on a sparkling, hot afternoon. Hearing him say our special greeting (a simple "Mmmmmmmmmm!" in my ear) whenever I'd run and climb on his lap as a child, and hearing him stand up in front of hundreds of people and say, "My name is Desi, and I'm an alcoholic," a moment I never expected to see, and truly his finest hour. Unfortunately for all of us, it came too late -- he died within the year.

Q. Dear Lucie, I'm a fan from your "Here's Lucy" days. One of my earliest TV memories, in fact, is your Pepsodent commercial on the "Here's Lucy" set -- "Teeth that need to be their whitest need Pepsodent." I even remember what you were wearing! And yet, I can't remember squat about algebra. Frightening, huh?
I recently relocated to L.A., and because I was moving, couldn't get to the Alex to catch you in "Wonderful Town." My question: What was it like working with Don Amendolia? I met him a few years ago and found him to be warm and wonderful. Were you friends first, then happened to work together?
Also, just wanted to say thanks for your talk show appearances. You're always quite candid about your life and your experiences. I get the sense that you don't whitewash things or simply tell people what they want to hear. You tell the truth, and that's a wonderful, courageous thing. Be well, Lucie! Lots of us out here think very highly of your talent and the special qualities that make you YOU. David Abrams

LUCIE: I met Don Amendolia when he played Prince Dauntless to my Princess Winifred the Woebegone, in John Kenley's production of "Once Upon a Mattress" in Warren, Ohio in early 1972 or 73. We became friends immediately, and have
stayed close ever since. He and I traveled together with Tommy Tune for sic months in the National Company of "My One and Only," he directed me in Joyce Carol Oates, "The Woman Who Laughed," in Sharon, CT, and in all three
productions of "Wonderful Town" for Reprise in Los Angeles. Don is one of the finest actors in our business, and he has been lucky enough to continue work as both actor and director for years.

At the moment Don is the Artistic Director of The Great Waters Music Festival in New Hampshire. He is an absolute delight to work with. Very few people understand the process of putting on a show and creating a believable character, like Don does. Thanks for what you said about my sharing experiences, David. I guess I just believe that's why we're given some of
them. (Remember, I said SOME of them!)

Q. Hello Lucie, My question(s) derives from a probable exhaustive topic Re: the autograph & ephemera business:
I've often thought that the "business" of autograph selling seems a bit like profiteering, where (to my knowledge) there is no scope for payment to the artist or estate in question. Practically, I've no idea how the entertainment industry in general feels about this or how this would be enforced (and residuals calculated), but it just doesn't seem right for third parties (and beyond) to solely profit from such things.
So my question(s) are:
1) In your opinion how does the entertainment industry tackle this issue (if at all)?
2) Do you take action if you find an item either signed by yourself or a member of your family that is obviously a forgery? (sidenote: this would be an exhaustive practice I would imagine if you did).
Warmest regards, Kerryn.

LUCIE: Your sidenote says it all. It would be an exhaustive practice. Unless someone forges my signature on a check, or a contract, I'm not going to lose sleep over it. In the same token, collector's shouldn't take it too seriously, because there are forgeries out there. Par for the course. We police unlicensed merchandise, that's all. Life is too short to do more than
that. People have to have something to do that brings them some joy. And some people find collecting autographs does just that. If actors didn't want their autographs floating around without remuneration, then they shouldn't
have ever signed any!

Do you have a question for Lucie Arnaz? -- Please send all questions to AskLucie@LucieArnaz.com (and remember to include your name!). Your questions, with Lucie's answers will be published on this web page, unless otherwise specified.