FINDING A BALANCE STAGE: LEARNING FROM HER MOTHER'S CAREER, LUCIE ARNAZ DECIDED ACTING WOULD TAKE A BACK SEAT TO PARENTHOOD.

Credit: PAUL HODGINS:THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Lucie Arnaz admits she used to be a lot like her mother. But not anymore. "If you'd asked me about the importance of my career in l976, it would have been a completely different answer," Arnaz said by phone from Denver. "I was totally into the theater. Michael Bennett (the famous Broadway choreographer-director) was my mentor. He was telling me things like,' You have to be a theater person to have theater people respect you. Fonzie will never star in a Broadway show.' " Bennett was wrong, of course. And since then, Arnaz has discovered other routes to happiness: television and film roles, but, most importantly, family.

Arnaz's appearance in "Wonderful Town" this week, she replaces Tyne Daly in the last Reprise! musical of the series' inaugural season, is possible only because the commitment doesn't interfere with her personal life. It's a consideration that her mother seldom made, Arnaz said.

"My mother didn't teach me about (balancing career and family)," Arnaz said. "She didn't know how to do it herself."

"I watched my mother go through that whole successful period without even thinking about the (implications) for our family. Because I was there to see that, I can now ask myself 'Where am I running?' "

Arnaz often lectures about her experiences growing up in the public eye as the daughter of television's most famous comic actress. The stories aren't always pleasant, she admits. "I'm giving a talk here in Denver about that whole balance thing. It's called 'Surviving Success.' When you choose to have a busy career and a family, a lot of confusing things happen in your life. When you're home, you have to be really home, you know what I mean?"

Arnaz said she reassessed her life after her mother died in 1989. "I went back to New York when my mom passed away, and we did a lot of thinking about our family life. That's when we did a lot of reorganizing. I had been living in Los Angeles. Larry (Arnaz's husband) did some films, I did a TV movie. It was a lot of running around. Then the sons and daughters came along."

Relocating the family to the East Coast, Arnaz got back into the theater, appearing to good notices in several important Broadway productions, including Neil Simon's "Lost in Yonkers." Mostly, though, Arnaz made the move to shift gears and spend more time with her three children, now 13, 15 and 17.

"There are a lot of single people in this business. But when you get a family, things have to change. The thing my mother discovered about fame is it doesn't make life any easier. You think things will go so smoothly when you're a little more famous and get more money. But it's a crock. It's the same crazy, unpredictable life, only with better shoes!"

Arnaz seems comfortable with the sacrifices she has been forced to make as a result.

"Look, I'm not at a place right now in my own personal life where I can compete in certain areas in priority parts, as much as I love the theater. I work when it's convenient, when my husband can hold down the fort. I wouldn't have been able to take this part (in 'Wonderful Town') if Larry had been on the road.

"But I'm not sorry (about turning down acting opportunities). My kids are better off for it."